Millennial Moms Aren't Clueless
Wonder week leaps.
These are just a few of the terms that I find create quite the few odd stares when discussed with older generation mothers. Sometimes it's frustratating to be a millennial mother. Why is it frustrating? Because not everyone gets us. Older generations forget how much support we have now thanks to the Internet and not to mention, they forget that things and times change. They forget that our "village" now extends past our immediate family when it comes to finding support in all areas of motherhood (not that there's anything wrong with a village of immediate family).
Far too often when you're describing your toddler's lack of sleep as another "sleep regression," you're met with a look that makes you feel dumb. Like you just randomly made up a term to cover yourself or something; like you're just looking for excuses. For whatever reason sleep seems to be the measure of how good a baby is to many older generation mothers. It can be frustrating to try and explain that you're in the middle of a growth spurt or a sleep regression.
Or perhaps you're trying to defend why your baby is nursing around the clock these days and you're talking all about cluster feedings and growth spurts and grandma is sitting there looking at you like YOU are the clueless one (even though it's child number three for you, you're basically a pro). You want to pull out all of the articles for proof and show her all of the groups you posted in because you want them to know...you're not alone. There's a line of mothers before you experiencing the same thing.
And then of course there's popular and growing trends such as co-sleeping, hard core car seat regulations, wonder week leaps, extended breastfeeding, gluten free, vegan, delayed vaccines, and others terms that create funny stares. All of it, things that are normal and many of them decades old, just now coined in a new way or back by popular demand. Yet, you're the one feeling like the elderly in the room is judging YOU.
Here's my two cents people. Your way is not the right way. Just because something like a sleep regression wasn't a "thing" back in the day, doesn't mean that it can't be a thing now. Don't look at a young mother funny or condescending just because you don't believe what she has to say. Don't say, "well my babies never did that" or "well we just didn't do it like that back then." It's okay for things to be different now and it's totally okay for us to parent differently with different beliefs.
I'm a firm believer that research changes, facts emerge daily and science finds new things constantly to help benefit us as mothers and for our child's health. Once it was considered normal and fine to give solids before six months and now, it is widely known that this really isn't okay. Once co-sleeping was considered unsafe, and while yes it is still controversial, much research shows otherwise. Once mothers didn't want to "spoil" babies yet now abundant research shows the amazing benefits of baby wearing and that babies can't (gasp) be spoiled.
It (research) changes people.
Just because something didn't exist or wasn't a term or a thing back then, doesn't mean it can't exist now. We learn something new everyday and new, young mothers are constantly learning the ropes of motherhood thanks to family support AND the internet. I don't know about you, but Facebook support groups are the best thing since sliced bread. To hear that others are experiencing the exact same thing as you, makes you feel like you're not alone. The village of raising children can now extend to places such as Facebook and even this blog. Answers, support and advice are constant thanks to Google and science is pretty damn rad.
I love the good ole' days and find lots of value and inspiration from a much simpler, easier time. When I seek advice from others, I am grateful for it. Wise women can support and raise up wise women. However, sometimes I rely on what feels like the "new and modern" way of doing things based off of the research I put into my parenting decisions. We should support all wise women, no matter our differences.
Motherhood is about learning from each other. So mothers, grandmothers, mother in laws and more...let's learn from one another. Be supportive and open to new things. Listen with intent and support, don't judge.
There is only one right way, and that is each mother's very own and special way. Mother knows best.