Moms, It's Okay to Not Be Balanced ALL The Time

Oh the dreaded bedtime shuffle. The cuddles, the stories and the endless amounts of “get back into your bed.” I’m going to be bold here and admit that putting my kids to bed is legit my least favorite time of the day. Don’t judge me just yet, just hear me out.

“Mama I am sooooo thirsty.”

“Mama can you rock me and cuddle?”

“Mama I need oils!”

“Mama I picked a booboo.”

“I have to potty.”

“Mama can you rock me and cuddle me?”

It NEVER ends. It’s like an hour long debacle every night with my three year old and it has been this way for over a year. And before you get ready to give me your advice, or advice on discipline, thanks but no thanks. NOTHING has worked, but that’s not exactly what I’m hear to talk about anyway.

I’m here to say that I don’t like bedtime. It’s my least favorite time of the day for me as a mother because it gets a little chaotic and unfortunately my mind starts lingering with all of the tasks that I need to go do and I also know that there is a big bathtub calling my name. I get super antsy and ready for my people to just be asleep already.

You see, I’m writing this to be vulnerable here because I am not perfect. I am not supermom who never has bad days and I’m surely not always as patient and kind as I want to be. I’m a mom, just a regular mom who can also say, “I’ve had enough.”

I think as mothers sometimes we believe that we have to be completely balanced emotionally and always in love with each part of every day. God handpicked us for these sweet children, surely if he thought we were cut out for this then we should show nothing but praise and joy. But the truth of the matter is that sometimes we just don’t convey our love so “joyfully” because we are exhausted, frazzled, annoyed or just overwhelmed.

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It can be hard in the midst of a chaotic bedtime routine or in the midst of a hectic ride to school complete with 21 questions about if lizards have babies to evoke joy. Like sorry kid, but I can’t always answer your questions and sometimes you talk SO much that my head is spinning. But you’re totally cute so there’s that…

It’s okay to yearn for bedtime simply because you need a break and then it’s okay to dread bedtime simply because your toddler is a werewolf who comes alive with the full moon. It’s okay to get frazzled.

It’s okay to not be balanced ALL.THE.TIME.

I write a lot about living intentionally and simply and savoring the small joys in motherhood. I believe in that wholeheartedly. But I also believe in finding the grace to forgive ourselves when we feel like we’re unbalanced, annoyed and “over it.” I believe in the ability to say that this is “okay” to feel this way and then to find your reset, your grace and your fresh start later. Whether it’s minutes later, a few hours or the next morning, you’re back to being “super mom” and you’re tackling your precious job with joy and oomph.

So mamas whether it is the bedtime routine that drives you bananas, or the fact that your kids fight like banshees or the toddler who is into EVERYTHING, it’s okay to not be your best at every moment.

We are so often not our best, and yet God loves us more than ever and gives us his mercy each day. It’s the same as a mother. Our kids can be a werewolf and yet we love them more than ever. And we move on and we forgive when they don’t listen and we find grace for them AND for ourselves when we fall short.

So moms, remember that you are enough even when you don’t feel like you are. You don’t have to be balanced 24/7 and your supermom cape can rest sometimes. It’s okay to not have your shish together all the time and it’s okay to even say, “I’m over it.”

If motherhood was perfect it would be easy. But it’s not perfect and we all know it is not easy! Motherhood is a journey where we learn as we grow and we discover all of life’s lessons on love, joy, forgiveness, grace and so much more.

I may not be a fan of bedtime, but I sure am grateful to have these babies to put to sleep into their beds each night. I may not be a fan of bedtime, but I sure love when they sneak into my bed and cuddle up next to me. And I sure as heck love to kiss their faces good morning as they sleep peacefully with the glow of the new day beaming in.

I can find my balance by admitting my faults. I can find grace by having mercy and I can love to the depths of my soul. All because I am a beautifully, imperfect mother taking care of some beautiful, imperfect children who are occasionally cute, little werewolves.

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Moms Who Don't Like Bedtime


Taking the Reins to Live Intentionally and Simply

 Gray Photography

Gray Photography

When I was a little girl I dreamed about being a mother and a wife. I was like most little girls and clung to the role of mommy with my baby dolls. As I got older, I dreamt about my role as a wife one day too and started to crave that home full of feet running around and bacon frying on the weekends.

Modern day lifestyles are vastly different than the past decades. Our time in this world goes by quicker and our lives are filled with so much stuff, so many obligations and so much static and noise. Sometimes it can feel as if all of the noise takes us away from the simple joys of things like mothering, homemaking, front porch sittin’ and so on.

I know of so many people who say they’d love to live back in a simpler time, back in the good ole’ days. I tend to be one of those people sometimes as well too; but like so many others, I’m also grateful for so many modern day things.

Here’s the thing though. As I’ve grown as a mother and a homemaker over the past year, I’ve discovered such a joy for carving out an intentionally simple life for my family. Creating a simple, peaceful home and lifestyle doesn’t have to mean that we jump into a time machine and head back to the June Cleaver days, it just means that we take initiative of our lives and the speed of them.

Living Simply and Intentionally

We take control of our schedules, of the stuff accumulating around us and we find joy in the mundane. Something as simple as a crisp fall day with the windows open and a soup simmering on the stove is something to be joyful about. It’s something to stop and take in for a second. While the task of cleaning the home may seem so exhausting, it’s something to be grateful for. A home. And while for the homemaker or stay at home, cleaning may seem so exhausting and tedious - it’s our “work." It’s the home that you make for your family whether you work in it or away from it.

If we want our lives to slow down, it’s up to us to make it happen. It’s up to us to let go of obligations and to turn down some invitations. It’s up to us to do less of what we don’t enjoy so we can do more of what we do enjoy. It’s up to us as parents, as mothers and fathers, to determine how many nights a week we eat together as a family or how many Sunday mornings we sit in church together.

Weaving Christ throughout your life, throughout your day, your marriage and throughout your mothering, makes things more peaceful. That feeling of being together in church on Sunday where you’re meant to be, is the best. That moment of a Sunday nap or a Sunday on the front porch is where life can shine. Where you can feel the joy of His grace because you are resting and being intentional with those around you.

Living Intentionally

I’m all for the extra curricular and the date nights. I’m all for the trips to the zoo and the library and for the occasional night out on the town with your friends. But the key to creating a simple, peaceful life that you long for, is all found within your hands and the hands of the Lord above.

Don’t look at housework as a burden, it’s your way to serve those around you that you love. Involve your little ones in the tasks if you want and absolutely do the tasks together with your spouse if he’s the kind to chip in, but don’t relish on the burdens of it all when it’s part of what makes your life and the lives of those you love function so beautifully.

Find joy in your tasks, no matter how repetitive they may be. Pull out the mixer and bake something from scratch with your children. Take afternoon snacks to the porch or take the kids outside for star gazing at night before bed. And find time to steal those few minutes for just YOU. Find ways to do more of what you love no matter how hard that may be. And always, always find more time to be together to enjoy the simple moments.

Some things to consider to make your life and moments more intentional:

  • Eat meals together with no distractions as often as you can

  • Limit extra curricular to where you’re not on the go each night

  • Let kids be kids

  • Cook for your family, it’s rewarding for you!

  • Serve your family with a peaceful, joyful heart rather than with the burdens of having to “do it all”

  • Ask for help when you need it, because life sometimes requires it ;)

  • Find your grace in the messy moments

  • Remember that even the most perfect moms have bad days

  • Have a power clean hour

  • Pick your home up throughout the day or before you leave each time

  • Carve out a few minutes of the day for yourself (mine is the mornings and nap time)

  • Play outside as a family

  • If you’re a stay at home mom, limit your daytime errands and activities so you can be at peace within your home

  • Bake something

  • Color with your little ones

  • Take up gardening/plants! (seriously!)

  • Stop to find the beauty of your day and relish in that moment

  • If you work away from home, find the support you need to enjoy the moments that you have when you get home (also let go of any guilt you have for this - you’re an awesome mama!)

  • Limit your weekend activities and obligations - it’s okay to say NO

  • Read and pray over the Proverbs 31 woman - the noble wife

  • Pray (for real!)

Living Simply

Life is a story. It’s a steady picture reel going on day by day. It’s up to us to determine how to write that story and it’s up to us to determine how those pictures will look. It may not always look as planned sometimes and other times the paths of life may change and we won’t understand them as we experience heavy burdens and pains, but somehow we have the ability to continue on and to create a simple, peaceful life of joy through it all.

Don’t look at the reels of someone else’s life and wish yours looked like that - make it happen. Find your peace, your joy and your God. He’ll shine the light on your days and somehow, he may even slow down the time as it passes so you can linger in the beauty of his grace.


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Living Intentionally and Simply





The Secret To Motherhood

 Copyright The Mushy Mommy 

Copyright The Mushy Mommy 

Oh I bet that title grabbed you in really good. You either clicked here in total desperation out of sheer exhaustion or you clicked here because you felt like there's just no way there's some magical secret to motherhood. 

Either way, no matter why you hopped on over, I will share a secret with you and I'm glad you're here. 

While this may not be the secret to motherhood, because let's get real here, such a thing doesn't really exist...it's still a good reminder. As I laid in bed last night and thought about life as a mother, a word that I have heard and used many times in regards to motherhood came to me. 

GRACE. 

The secret to motherhood is grace. 

We live daily in the role as mother overcoming so much thrown our way (literally). Perhaps one of the biggest struggles we face as a mother is mom guilt. Mom guilt is huge no matter who you are. Even the most put together, Instagram worthy mama suffers from some sort of mom guilt. 

We stress and feel ashamed over some of the tiniest things sometimes. Our child doesn't have organic cookies like the other kid, we didn't read a book to the baby today, we're still in our pajamas, the laundry still isn't folded, baby books still need to be filled out, we splurged on take out for the third time this week and we still wonder most days if we're doing the right thing whether we work away from home, stay home or work at home. 

Then there's even more to contemplate over when our head hits the pillow at night. Did we show them enough love? Did we yell too much? Why did we let them get on our ever lasting nerve so quickly? Are they going to the right school? Did you do something to make your baby a bad sleeper? Why won't your kids sleep like everyone else's? What if they don't forgive you for being a butt hole today? Does your husband think you're a good mother? Does Jesus think you're a good mother? Or is he like, "girl you need to chill?" 

Our mind can become foggy as we navigate the ropes of it all, especially when we're exhausted. Sometimes we feel like we're sinking and other times we feel like we're on top of the world. Sometimes we feel proud and other times we compare ourselves and have our joy taken away right from under us because "she's doing it better." 

You see motherhood is a process, a journey, a task, a role, a job and so much more. It's a blessing beyond measure and with each blessing in life you'll find grace. Where you find that grace depends on you. When you find that grace depends on you as well. We can only ever do so much and worry so much as mothers. We can only fit so much into the mere 24 hours a day that we are given and we can only squeeze so much into the eighteen years we're blessed with. And our mess-ups can never top the triumphs. Period. 

So when your day is hard, when the tears start to sting, when the yelling is too loud and when your chest feels tight because you just don't know which way to turn...find your grace. Find your grace from within, find your grace from Him and give yourself the grace you deserve. And if faith isn't your thing, find yourself a pause. Take a second to realize that you're going to be okay and so will they. They may be eating take out and they may be going to bed too late tonight in dirty pajamas, but it's okay. They're going to bed fed and warm (maybe kinda smelly though), but totally loved. 

God isn't going to give you something you can't handle, he's just going to give you enough to make you need him. Stop, find your grace and GIVE YOURSELF GRACE. You deserve it, you deserve joy, and you deserve a pause with a little hope. Just when you think you can't go on, just when you think you're doing it all wrong and just when you think you've let everyone down, grace can slide right on in there. Sometimes it's in the form of a laugh, sometimes it's a hug or a crumpled up flower from today's school uniform that was picked just for you. You see there's grace all around, even when we're too distracted to notice it. 

You WILL make it through this and you'll one day realize just how beautifully and gracefully you did it. 

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.
— 2 Corinthians 12:9
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Sasha Savoy

Sasha is the owner and founder of The Mushy Mommy, a natural mother and baby boutique and The Mushy Mommy Village. She is a SAHM who works hard at living as minimal and unprocessed as possible, but never claims perfection. Her mission is to inspire, encourage, enlighten and empower mothers all over to feel good about their choices, to make healthy choices and to enjoy motherhood and all of its beauty and chaos.