Moms, It's Okay to Not Be Balanced ALL The Time

Oh the dreaded bedtime shuffle. The cuddles, the stories and the endless amounts of “get back into your bed.” I’m going to be bold here and admit that putting my kids to bed is legit my least favorite time of the day. Don’t judge me just yet, just hear me out.

“Mama I am sooooo thirsty.”

“Mama can you rock me and cuddle?”

“Mama I need oils!”

“Mama I picked a booboo.”

“I have to potty.”

“Mama can you rock me and cuddle me?”

It NEVER ends. It’s like an hour long debacle every night with my three year old and it has been this way for over a year. And before you get ready to give me your advice, or advice on discipline, thanks but no thanks. NOTHING has worked, but that’s not exactly what I’m hear to talk about anyway.

I’m here to say that I don’t like bedtime. It’s my least favorite time of the day for me as a mother because it gets a little chaotic and unfortunately my mind starts lingering with all of the tasks that I need to go do and I also know that there is a big bathtub calling my name. I get super antsy and ready for my people to just be asleep already.

You see, I’m writing this to be vulnerable here because I am not perfect. I am not supermom who never has bad days and I’m surely not always as patient and kind as I want to be. I’m a mom, just a regular mom who can also say, “I’ve had enough.”

I think as mothers sometimes we believe that we have to be completely balanced emotionally and always in love with each part of every day. God handpicked us for these sweet children, surely if he thought we were cut out for this then we should show nothing but praise and joy. But the truth of the matter is that sometimes we just don’t convey our love so “joyfully” because we are exhausted, frazzled, annoyed or just overwhelmed.

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It can be hard in the midst of a chaotic bedtime routine or in the midst of a hectic ride to school complete with 21 questions about if lizards have babies to evoke joy. Like sorry kid, but I can’t always answer your questions and sometimes you talk SO much that my head is spinning. But you’re totally cute so there’s that…

It’s okay to yearn for bedtime simply because you need a break and then it’s okay to dread bedtime simply because your toddler is a werewolf who comes alive with the full moon. It’s okay to get frazzled.

It’s okay to not be balanced ALL.THE.TIME.

I write a lot about living intentionally and simply and savoring the small joys in motherhood. I believe in that wholeheartedly. But I also believe in finding the grace to forgive ourselves when we feel like we’re unbalanced, annoyed and “over it.” I believe in the ability to say that this is “okay” to feel this way and then to find your reset, your grace and your fresh start later. Whether it’s minutes later, a few hours or the next morning, you’re back to being “super mom” and you’re tackling your precious job with joy and oomph.

So mamas whether it is the bedtime routine that drives you bananas, or the fact that your kids fight like banshees or the toddler who is into EVERYTHING, it’s okay to not be your best at every moment.

We are so often not our best, and yet God loves us more than ever and gives us his mercy each day. It’s the same as a mother. Our kids can be a werewolf and yet we love them more than ever. And we move on and we forgive when they don’t listen and we find grace for them AND for ourselves when we fall short.

So moms, remember that you are enough even when you don’t feel like you are. You don’t have to be balanced 24/7 and your supermom cape can rest sometimes. It’s okay to not have your shish together all the time and it’s okay to even say, “I’m over it.”

If motherhood was perfect it would be easy. But it’s not perfect and we all know it is not easy! Motherhood is a journey where we learn as we grow and we discover all of life’s lessons on love, joy, forgiveness, grace and so much more.

I may not be a fan of bedtime, but I sure am grateful to have these babies to put to sleep into their beds each night. I may not be a fan of bedtime, but I sure love when they sneak into my bed and cuddle up next to me. And I sure as heck love to kiss their faces good morning as they sleep peacefully with the glow of the new day beaming in.

I can find my balance by admitting my faults. I can find grace by having mercy and I can love to the depths of my soul. All because I am a beautifully, imperfect mother taking care of some beautiful, imperfect children who are occasionally cute, little werewolves.

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Moms Who Don't Like Bedtime

Taking the Reins to Live Intentionally and Simply

 Gray Photography

Gray Photography

When I was a little girl I dreamed about being a mother and a wife. I was like most little girls and clung to the role of mommy with my baby dolls. As I got older, I dreamt about my role as a wife one day too and started to crave that home full of feet running around and bacon frying on the weekends.

Modern day lifestyles are vastly different than the past decades. Our time in this world goes by quicker and our lives are filled with so much stuff, so many obligations and so much static and noise. Sometimes it can feel as if all of the noise takes us away from the simple joys of things like mothering, homemaking, front porch sittin’ and so on.

I know of so many people who say they’d love to live back in a simpler time, back in the good ole’ days. I tend to be one of those people sometimes as well too; but like so many others, I’m also grateful for so many modern day things.

Here’s the thing though. As I’ve grown as a mother and a homemaker over the past year, I’ve discovered such a joy for carving out an intentionally simple life for my family. Creating a simple, peaceful home and lifestyle doesn’t have to mean that we jump into a time machine and head back to the June Cleaver days, it just means that we take initiative of our lives and the speed of them.

Living Simply and Intentionally

We take control of our schedules, of the stuff accumulating around us and we find joy in the mundane. Something as simple as a crisp fall day with the windows open and a soup simmering on the stove is something to be joyful about. It’s something to stop and take in for a second. While the task of cleaning the home may seem so exhausting, it’s something to be grateful for. A home. And while for the homemaker or stay at home, cleaning may seem so exhausting and tedious - it’s our “work." It’s the home that you make for your family whether you work in it or away from it.

If we want our lives to slow down, it’s up to us to make it happen. It’s up to us to let go of obligations and to turn down some invitations. It’s up to us to do less of what we don’t enjoy so we can do more of what we do enjoy. It’s up to us as parents, as mothers and fathers, to determine how many nights a week we eat together as a family or how many Sunday mornings we sit in church together.

Weaving Christ throughout your life, throughout your day, your marriage and throughout your mothering, makes things more peaceful. That feeling of being together in church on Sunday where you’re meant to be, is the best. That moment of a Sunday nap or a Sunday on the front porch is where life can shine. Where you can feel the joy of His grace because you are resting and being intentional with those around you.

Living Intentionally

I’m all for the extra curricular and the date nights. I’m all for the trips to the zoo and the library and for the occasional night out on the town with your friends. But the key to creating a simple, peaceful life that you long for, is all found within your hands and the hands of the Lord above.

Don’t look at housework as a burden, it’s your way to serve those around you that you love. Involve your little ones in the tasks if you want and absolutely do the tasks together with your spouse if he’s the kind to chip in, but don’t relish on the burdens of it all when it’s part of what makes your life and the lives of those you love function so beautifully.

Find joy in your tasks, no matter how repetitive they may be. Pull out the mixer and bake something from scratch with your children. Take afternoon snacks to the porch or take the kids outside for star gazing at night before bed. And find time to steal those few minutes for just YOU. Find ways to do more of what you love no matter how hard that may be. And always, always find more time to be together to enjoy the simple moments.

Some things to consider to make your life and moments more intentional:

  • Eat meals together with no distractions as often as you can

  • Limit extra curricular to where you’re not on the go each night

  • Let kids be kids

  • Cook for your family, it’s rewarding for you!

  • Serve your family with a peaceful, joyful heart rather than with the burdens of having to “do it all”

  • Ask for help when you need it, because life sometimes requires it ;)

  • Find your grace in the messy moments

  • Remember that even the most perfect moms have bad days

  • Have a power clean hour

  • Pick your home up throughout the day or before you leave each time

  • Carve out a few minutes of the day for yourself (mine is the mornings and nap time)

  • Play outside as a family

  • If you’re a stay at home mom, limit your daytime errands and activities so you can be at peace within your home

  • Bake something

  • Color with your little ones

  • Take up gardening/plants! (seriously!)

  • Stop to find the beauty of your day and relish in that moment

  • If you work away from home, find the support you need to enjoy the moments that you have when you get home (also let go of any guilt you have for this - you’re an awesome mama!)

  • Limit your weekend activities and obligations - it’s okay to say NO

  • Read and pray over the Proverbs 31 woman - the noble wife

  • Pray (for real!)

Living Simply

Life is a story. It’s a steady picture reel going on day by day. It’s up to us to determine how to write that story and it’s up to us to determine how those pictures will look. It may not always look as planned sometimes and other times the paths of life may change and we won’t understand them as we experience heavy burdens and pains, but somehow we have the ability to continue on and to create a simple, peaceful life of joy through it all.

Don’t look at the reels of someone else’s life and wish yours looked like that - make it happen. Find your peace, your joy and your God. He’ll shine the light on your days and somehow, he may even slow down the time as it passes so you can linger in the beauty of his grace.

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Living Intentionally and Simply

Tips for Keeping a Tidy Home with Kids

A tidy home with kids

I've been asked a few times here and there from followers on how does my home stay so tidy. First off, I want to ALWAYS remind you that social media can be deceptive. I will easily photograph around a mess or move something out of the way for a photo. There I said it. It happens and it's real. 

But I will also say, that for the most part our home does stay tidy. Is it always deep cleaned with sparkling showers and freshly mopped floors? No. That stuff is harder to come by sometimes with three kids. But I am a fan of tidiness, organization and picking up. I make this a huge part of our rhythm throughout the day and while the kids are involved in it, I am too. 

Keeping a Home Organized With Kids

For the most part I can stay on top of our home with being tidy and looking clean throughout the day. Weekends can be worse sometimes or early mornings are sometimes still a bit disorangized if we're in a hurry, but I find ways to make things quickly come back together. 

Clutter irritates me, things out of their place drive me crazy and if I leave my home with things lying all around, it will literally shift my whole mood in a negative way. 

While having three little ones (or even just one) makes keeping a home tidy a challenge, it can be done. I think it's also important to remember that kids do need to play and make a mess. Your home is their home and messes will happen.

Tidy Farmhouse Style Home

There's also different seasons and rhythms for different people. If you have a newborn baby, keeping your home tidy shouldn't be such a priority. If you're a mother who works away from the home, finding a rhythm different from mine and making it work for you is what works. 

Everyone has a different rhythm to their day and many mothers are in different seasons of motherhood. Find what works for you and do the best you can. No one should judge you based on how tidy your home is. I think we all, even myself, need to stop apologizing when we feel like things are not "perfect." Because are they ever really? Nah. My home can look spotless, but please I beg you to not open the junk drawer and you probably shouldn't go into the utility room either. It happens and it's part of what makes us real. 

But if you're looking for some EASY tips on keeping things tidy, read on mama. 

Keeping a Home With Kids
  • Pick up each night. No matter how tired I am, I will pick up every night before I go to bed. Toys will get put up, dishes put away, floors swept and sofa pillows will go situated perfectly. This gives me peace of mind at night and a better start to our day. 
  • Pick up before you leave. I think this is my biggest piece of advice. Even if we're just running to carpool or going to run errands, I make the kids clean up their toys before we leave and I pick up all of the random things lying around that accumulated throughout the day. 
  • Pick up before doing ANYTHING. We can't go outside if there's a giant mess inside. We can't go ride bikes if there's a giant mess somewhere. Before we move on to a new thing, we have to clean up the current situation. 
  • Have a power clean. This is when I put a movie on or give the kids the iPad, put the baby in the bouncer (or now he is bigger so he follows me and makes it harder) and have a power hour (or just 30 minutes). I start in each room and take care of any clutter piles, clothes that need to be put away, laundry to fold, etc.... 
  • Clean as you cook. I try to clean my cooking space as I finish with things so when dinner is done being prepped and cooking, things are back to normal in the kitchen. 
  • Don't let clutter accumulate. I know this is easier said than done, but I try at all costs to not have any clutter anywhere. This keeps me sane and keeps my home looking tidy if anyone unexpectedly drops by (but don't get me wrong, sometimes it's a hot mess when people stop by lol).
  • Use baskets. I have various wicker baskets all over that keep things. Some of them hold building blocks or legos, coloring books or clothes to put away in my room. But a nice wicker basket, provides a pretty aesthetically pleasing piece that can also function for efficiency. 
  • Pick up during nap time. I try to pick up before nap time but sometimes it doesn't get done until nap time. And then on rare occasions, I get sidetracked and maybe take a nap myself and nothing gets done. I hate when this happens because it throws us off and resorts in a mess to me. 
  • Make life easier. Lay clothes out for the morning, leave out the supplies you need to make lunches for school, etc... Make your mornings easier by setting the routine the night before along with cleaning the home. This way when your day begins and you do the things you have to do (like make lunches and take care of tiny humans), you can have less chaos and less mess. 
  • Keep things that go together, together. We have a cabinet full of art supples, school items and puzzles. We have baskets of blocks and a book area just for books. We keep things organized by type for the kids so it makes cleaning and knowing where things are easier for us. 
  • Own less stuff. Get rid of things that you don't use or that your kids don't play with. Less stuff results in less mess! I'm always on a mission to rid our home and lives of things we don't need. There's numerous studies that links that the more stuff we have, the unhappier we are. The more toys a kid has, the less they use their imagination or experience boredom. Purging and donating is a wonderful and very freeing thing to do for yourself and your family. 
  • Only fill your home up with what you love. I'm sure in some ways our home can seem bare to others. But I try to be much more decisive on what comes into our home now, rather than just picking up things because it's cute and on sale. I try to think hard about a purchase or justify that I have the right spot for it. 
farmhouse style kitchen

Lastly, give yourself some grace. I have to remember myself that I am a mother to three small children who make a mess. They wouldn't be enjoying their childhood as much if messes were not involved.

I hope these tricks help and if not, find your own tricks to incorporate into your day! 

Keeping a Home Tidy and Organized

Sasha Savoy

Sasha is the owner and founder of The Mushy Mommy, a natural mother and baby boutique and The Mushy Mommy Village. She is a SAHM who works hard at living as minimal and unprocessed as possible, but never claims perfection. Her mission is to inspire, encourage, enlighten and empower mothers all over to feel good about their choices, to make healthy choices and to enjoy motherhood and all of its beauty and chaos.