Being in the Trenches of Motherhood

The Trenches of Motherhood

Have you ever heard the phrase, “In the trenches of motherhood?” Like whoa, that sounds so deep. That sounds real and kinda sounds like a really exhausting and hard place.

I hadn’t heard of that statement until recently actually. Everyone seemed to use it where I was and there was like some invisible line of which moms were on the side of the trenches and which side had some what overcome the trenches. To be honest, I am still not quite sure where the line lies.

But I am sure that I am in the trenches.

So many of us are. If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you are too. You clicked this link out of desperation, exhaustion or wanting to feel like you’re not the only one in this hard phase. You’re looking for a mama who is like you — unable to pee alone and desperate for hot coffee.

The trenches are hard, but with each day I see a glimmer of hope of what motherhood will be like one day without children climbing all over me, throwing mindless tantrums and listening like a rock. There won’t be food thrown on the floor at every meal and there won’t be toys strewn all over the house even if I just picked up 10 minutes prior to. I’ll get a solid night of sleep without getting kicked in the back or woken up with cries. And there won’t be little humans incapable of expressing themselves like a normal person.

The trenches are real, they are deep and they can be so very hard to navigate.

But then I think about how much I love this time. Sure date night is hard to come by and going out to dinner with children is a sport of its own, but man, the trenches are so good.

I have little people who need me all day long. There’s sweet baby cries with little outstretched arms just waiting for me to pick up, because to that baby I am everything. And the second that baby is in my arms he’s nuzzled right in the curve of my neck where I can kiss that sweet little head and take in the sweetest smell ever.

My children’s innocence warms my heart because they don’t know about fear, evil and hatred. They only know love. Their minds run rampant with imaginations and the questions while sometimes tedious and overwhelming are also loving. My kisses are enough for the booboos and my hugs are enough for scary monsters under the bed. There’s kisses in abundance and hugs galore, and “I love you mom” for no reason other than just because they genuinely adore me. I can yell one minute and still get the warmest and sweetest hugs; something I doubt will be quite as popular in the teenage years.

I am shown grace and more grace over and over because despite my flaws, I am their “mommy.”

So yes, I am in the trenches. Yes, it can be SO hard. I mean, have you ever tried peeing alone during motherhood — it just doesn’t happen (at least not in the trenches). But what if the trenches are the years we look back on and miss? What if they are the years that mold us into the mother we were meant to be and teach us the most about love, grace, forgiveness and patience? What if they make us rely more on Jesus and what if they make us stronger? What if they break us down to our core and teach us about life?

I have a good feeling they will.

You see, the trenches are a phase we all have to go through. And yes, we want to get through it because we want to see our children grow up and become the people they are destined to be. We want to sleep again, we want to have girl’s night again and we want to teach real life lessons to our children and mend their broken hearts, celebrate their triumphant victories and help them get back up when they fall down.

But until then, until then I will remind myself that the trenches are a gift.

They are a beautiful journey no matter how hard, and that one day I will long for them and remember it with such peace, joy and happiness. The hard will go away and the memories of being their everything, their “Mama” and their whole world, will be the piece that I hold onto so I can forever keep those little innocent and precious babies with me.

Enjoy the trenches mama. It’s a sacred place to be.

The trenches of Motherhood

Photo by Cayle Gray with Gray Photography


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Sasha Savoy

Sasha is the owner and founder of The Mushy Mommy, a natural mother and baby boutique and The Mushy Mommy Village. She is a SAHM who works hard at living as minimal and unprocessed as possible, but never claims perfection. Her mission is to inspire, encourage, enlighten and empower mothers all over to feel good about their choices, to make healthy choices and to enjoy motherhood and all of its beauty and chaos. 

Natural Ways to Protect Your Health This Winter

It’s fall and the holidays are around the corner and your calendar is about to become pretty full with obligations and gatherings. As fun and joyful as this season is, this is also the season of the germs!

Thieves Essential Oil

Fall and winter unfortunately bring their own visitors to everyone in the form of germs that continually make their way into people’s homes. They make us miss school, miss work and holiday parties and they make us feel awful. Sometimes it seems that no matter what you do that you can’t just stop it.

In 2017 our family was not as on top of our health game. Even though we had essential oils in our home, we didn’t use them nearly as much or as routinely as we should have. When you’re a mom, it can be difficult to add things to your routine. In 2017 we experienced the flu, pneumonia, strep and never ending colds. It was awful.

By 2018, I had learned a few good tricks and more to help protect my family as best as I could. Thankfully all that entered our home was runny noses and coughs. While the things we do like good supplements and essential oils are not magic pills that will NEVER let you catch anything, they surely will do their best to improve your immune health to keep you from catching all the germs and to help support you faster if you do.

A good immune system goes well beyond just using some Thieves oil. To be honest, I am still trying to educate myself on it. However since we are entering the season of the cooties, I figured it was a great time to talk about how we guard ourselves and especially our children.

  • Elderberry. This is huge! If you have social media, you likely saw all of the posts last year that floated around about elderberry. Elderberry is excellent at helping to boost immune support AND to actually help people who have the flu. We take elderberry gummies daily that we get from Amazon or our local health food store, but really you should take locally made elderberry syrup to get the benefits of the local honey in it.

  • Vitamin D. Most Americans are low on Vitamin D and it effects a lot in our health. Vitamin D has the ability to improve your mood, increase your energy and increase your immune system. In our home, I take this daily. If you suspect your children are low on Vitamin D, give them some Vitamin D3 gummies from Nordic Naturals.

  • Immune support vitamins. Our children also take a gummy that contains vitamin C, zinc and Echinacea. We get these at Trader Joe’s but they are available in many places. These are extra vitamins and herbs that have the ability to increase immune system function. Any one of those three are good to add to your supplement routine.

  • Essential Oils. Yes, you knew I would mention this right?!?! Essential oils are huge for our health because if used daily (preferably twice a day) they can help increase the immune system. They can also support you tremendously during times of immune distress. We have a homemade roller for our children that contains Thieves, Lemon, Copaiba and Frankincense and we roll it down our kid’s spine daily (Add Oregano for extra oomph and to smell like a pizza). All four of these oils are geared towards immune function and all four even come in the Young Living starter kit. Did you know that simply diffusing the oils can help increase boost your immune system and cleanse the air? YES! Thieves oil is tested over and over again for it’s astounding abilities.

  • Diet. Did you know that your gut is basically your second brain? Or that your gut is actually where your immune strength comes from? If our gut is all wonky, everything else will be this way as well. Eating a clean diet and eliminating sugar is huge for the immune system. We are not perfect here, it’s our weakness towards complete natural wellness. We’re human and the more we know, the more we can do. Try to add items high in Vitamin C and get in the healthy fats and greens that your body needs. Cut back on the sugar your kids are eating, especially if you start to suspect that germs are in the home and runny noses begin. Cut back on sugar and load up on whole foods, oils and supplements.

  • Smoothies. Yes smoothies! This is a great way to load up on fruits, veggies, healthy fats and more by fixing yummy smoothies for you and the kids. Making a strawberry banana smoothie is a favorite for kids, but add in some kale, alfalfa, collagen powder, chia seeds, etc… and give it a boost of nature’s goodness. They will not know the difference!

  • Young Living’s Inner Defense. My husband and I take this the second we suspect that our kids may be sick or if we feel anything coming on. You CAN take it daily for year round immune health, but we use it as more of an emergency supplement to kick the germs out. These are larger capsules so you would likely only give them to adults and young teenagers. This capsule is formulated with the ingredients in Thieves oil and it has the ability to help your body fight off whatever may be invading it.

  • Ningxia Red. This is one of the most antioxidant rich drinks on the market. It is powered by the wolfberry (just look up the crazy benefits from this berry). One of the beautiful things this drink can do for you is boost your immune system as well as help with energy levels, cholesterol, blood sugar and much more.

  • A good probiotic. This brings us back to gut health. You want a good probiotic daily to help improve your gut which in turn will improve the immune system among many other things. There are also kids probiotics available as well!

  • Stick to the natural brands. If you’re buying your vitamins and supplements from big box stores, chances are they are full of synthetic ingredients and the gummies are full of corn syrup. Most popular and well known vitamins sold in the big box stores are not as productive in the body as a more plant based vitamin that doesn't contain added synthetic ingredients. In other words, it’s ingredients were all grown in nature and not created in a lab. Browse places like Whole Foods, even Amazon, your local health food store and of course Young Living. Break away from the big labels and big box stores.

  • Don’t run to the doctor. We absolutely love our pediatrician, but from the months of October through March, I try to stay far away from there. If your child has just common cold symptoms or a low grade fever, maybe reconsider running to the doctor’s office where more germs are lurking. Follow your motherly instinct, but if you think it’s nothing to worry about, then stay away. When you see something alarming or when a few days pass by with no progress, then consider turning to your doctor. Until then, do everything you can to make your child comfortable and to support their immune system naturally.

 We do something called transfer buying basically. Instead of purchasing our supplements, hygiene, beauty, makeup and kids’ products at big box stores, we purchase truly non toxic and plant based products for our family from Young Living.

We do something called transfer buying basically. Instead of purchasing our supplements, hygiene, beauty, makeup and kids’ products at big box stores, we purchase truly non toxic and plant based products for our family from Young Living.

As much as I love winter and the holidays, the germs that come with it are nothing to play with. If you stick to a routine and have good, healthy habits in line for your whole family - then there’s a chance you’ll be a lot healthier and stress a lot less when your child plays with Billy with the runny nose.

If you’re interested in learning more about protecting your health this fall and winter, or if you’re interested in using essential oils - contact us and consider beginning your journey with our community. We help support each other through these trenches of motherhood, snot noses and cold coffee!

I hope that you find this article helpful to help you learn how to navigate this season a tad bit more naturally and hopefully a lot more healthy.

Looking at Motherhood and Homemaking from a Proverbs 31 View

Motherhood and Proverbs 31

As a blogger, (or just a millennial mom), you can often find me scrolling through Pinterest late at night. I’m usually Pinning home pins, Christmas ideas, baby pins and things about homemaking and motherhood. Part of it is sheer enjoyment for me and the rest is for research. A pin that I kept coming across in my “homemaking” search, was about the Proverbs 31 woman. So not knowing exactly who she was, I went on a quest to discover just who she is.

Proverbs 31: The Wife of Noble Character has quickly become my favorite scripture from the bible. I’ve been reading it and somewhat studying it for about four months now. I can read this scripture over and over and still get excited because I look at it and realize this is WHO I want to be.

So what exactly does that mean? Well, you’d have to read Proverbs 31 to find out exactly, but here I want to share with you what I think it means. Being a millennial mother in a complicated and busy world can be HARD and we can get so distracted, so caught up, so competitive, so judgey and so much more. I don’t want to be those things, but I am well aware that I can be. Life is fast paced and sometimes overwhelming. I’m sure every woman reading this can agree that the minute their clothes hamper is empty, it’s quickly full again. Most of us will say at some point in time that we felt completely undervalued and that the things we do so often for our family may go unnoticed. Mothers are world famous for juggling it all and for handling many tasks at once. It’s just what we do.

Homemaking as the Proverbs 31 Woman

It’s easy to get caught up in a negative mindset of housework and chores. Believe me, I am guilty of this too. However once you really start to step back and look at just who you are and what you are doing for those you love, you start to see your tasks through a different lens.

So how can you look at yourself like a Proverbs 31 woman? Why should you and who is she exactly? Let me share a little of who I think she is below.

She works hard. The Proverbs 31 woman gives you the impression that she is not just a homemaker, but that she actually is a businesswoman as well. She figures out a way to make an income from home for her family and makes wise investments. Now granted, not every mama is working from home, but so many are working hard. Working hard for your family whether away or from home, is a beautiful thing to teach your children. “She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.”

She serves her family. I know the expression “serves” may turn you away, but truthfully I enjoy it. I “serve” the Lord daily and have no problem saying that (or at least I strive too). I can totally serve my family as well. Serving your family can be done with joy - but yes, sometimes you’ll get frustrated (we’re human). I enjoy the tasks that I do for my family on most days - cooking, cleaning, tidying up — these things actually bring me joy because I realize that by doing them, I am serving the people I love to help us have our lives more “organized and put together.” While yes sometimes the laundry piles up and that overwhelming feeling sets in, there are many times where I am just grateful to have these people’s dirty clothes in my home. “She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family…”

She keeps things orderly. Permission slips, lunch money, ironed uniforms, doctor appointments, birthday parties, gifts, soccer snacks, etc…these tasks don’t just magically get done. Sometimes these things are done as teamwork between spouses (or older children), but if you were to peek into the homes of so many, you’ll see a mother staying up late making sure her children’s bags are packed for school the next day. It’s the little things aside form housework that begin to add up. Mothers help keep things functioning smoothly and help keep order within the home. While we may not always hear a thank you for these things, these things matter so much. “She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.”

Motherhood and Jesus

She parents with faith. For me it’s one thing to be in church on Sundays with my children and it’s another to have actual discussions of who Jesus is. My kids are little so we keep our conversations pretty basic, but parenting your children in a way that places Jesus at the forefront will make your life easier. When you’re having your worst day and your biggest mom fail, Jesus has your back. Every mother hopes to one day look back and think that she parented her children the best she could, for me that means sprinkling Jesus everywhere that I can. “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

The “workloads” of motherhood and homemaking can be daunting, overwhelming sometimes and all for no pay. Sometimes we feel unappreciated and sometimes we feel like we just can’t make it another second. As much work as cooking a big meal for your family can be, just remember that you’re providing a warm meal for them. It’s because of you that your children get to have warm, wholesome food in their bellies and good, comfort food on the days that they need it.

You see, when you begin to take on the tasks with more joy and gratefulness, it becomes a little easier. Let’s not focus on our “chores” and life as just another day passing by or just another day captured in an Instagram square. Let’s focus on the joy of knowing that all of the little things we are doing is creating a path for our children. A blessed path where faith is taught, favorite recipes are passed down and homemaking is looked at as a good thing to serve those you love.

“Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.””

The Proverbs 31 Mother
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Sasha Savoy

Sasha is the owner and founder of The Mushy Mommy, a natural mother and baby boutique and The Mushy Mommy Village. She is a SAHM who works hard at living as minimal and unprocessed as possible, but never claims perfection. Her mission is to inspire, encourage, enlighten and empower mothers all over to feel good about their choices, to make healthy choices and to enjoy motherhood and all of its beauty and chaos.