15 Truths to Weaning a Toddler

Weaning a toddler
  1. Drying your supply up with cabbage leaves in your bra (for some reason this works) leaves you smelling like a giant fart all day long. 
  2. Weaning is similar to those first few days of breastfeeding...sore, rock hard boobs that may burst at any moment. Anyone ever saw a milk geyser? 
  3. Your breasts go from nice to "where the hell did they go" in a matter of days. Thanks boobs, it was nice working with you. 
  4. You want to do a happy dance because you don't have to be tied down to a pump anymore. As much as we all love breastfeeding, pumping is pretty much equivalent to watching paint dry. 
  5. Your child magically starts sleeping better at night a few days after weaning completely. Well you little...
  6. Once your milk is dried up, there's no more risk of springing a leak at inappropriate and extremely awkward times. Sorry hubby...
  7. Your toddler no longer attacks you in public, ripping your shirt off and sticking their face in your chest for the whole world to know that yes, you still breastfeed. And for the talking child, you no longer have to hear them publicly call out for your boobs. No matter how proud we are to breastfeed, sometimes those moments are a tad uncomfortable. 
  8. Suddenly they seem to eat meals like an adult and even act like little grownups. Where's my baby?
  9. You hear about tears during weaning, but didn't realize that it meant you'd be the one shedding them. 
  10. You wonder just how much that extra happy hormone was doing for you...and fear that you'll no longer be chipper. Blame it on the boobs, eh...
  11. You periodically squeeze to see if any milk is still there. Once the milk is gone, reality sets in. And possibly a mild depression.
  12. Weaning is one of the most emotional processes that many will never understand. It's also freaking hard.
  13. Despite being finished and perhaps even happy for the break, you secretly want to scoop up your child and cuddle them close for one more nursing session.
  14. Once one child is weaned, you dream of the next one that you can share that sweet bond with. 
  15. Your breast are forever changed and will be forever recognized as the best, most coolest part of your body. With the exception of the va-jay-jay that pushed out your little baby...that's a pretty cool body part too. TMI, I know.

Who can relate and doesn't think I'm crazy?