A Mom's Social Life
1. What social life?
2. Social life means play dates and mom groups, right?
3. As long as we're home by eight, it's all good in da' hood.
4. Margarita my butt...as long as I can drink Starbucks without little hands reaching for it, then I consider that a buzz.
5. Cute clutch but I bet you can't fit all the crap in it that I have in my "mom bag."
6. Bar hopping? More like kid's birthday party hopping.
7. Actually, a good weekend is baby shower hopping (there's more adult interaction than #6).
8. I'm sorry, I forgot to text you back and call you and stop and visit. Worst friend ever.
9. As soon as I find where my toddler hid my keys, how to enable the iphone she disabled and when I can finally get dressed, I'll take care of #8.
10. Miniskirts aren't made for bending over and chasing babies; but maxi skirts are made for hiding stretch marks, granny panties and leftover pregnancy belly.
11. Halter tops and nursing bras...enough said.
12. Sex is like a night out, right? It means you finally shaved your legs, got dressed cute and went to bed exhausted. Just saying.
13. A trip alone to Target feels like a mini vacay; add a friend and you have yourself a freaking girl's vacation.
14. Peed your pants laughing has a deeper meaning now. Thanks childbirth.
15. Halloween just got ten times cooler and less "sexy."
16. You go out and don't drink and still wake up feeling hungover. Thanks kid that doesn't sleep.
17. Chicken noodle soup doesn't come with a soda on the side...more like Apple Juice these days.
18. You requested "Let It Go" for Karaoke night because it is the only song you know. And think you can sing.
19. When you think of "Fancy," you think of Reba.
20. With that said, who the heck is Iggy Azalea?
Okay, so in actuality I hope all of our social lives are not quite this rough. But hey, you know you can at least relate to one thing on here. Being a mother doesn't mean giving up your social life, although it can often times feel that way. It's important to still take time for yourself whether it's a trip to Starbucks, Target, the bathroom or a fancy night out with friends.
And let's all just go ahead and throw the granny panties away...
Can you relate?
Thanks for reading, Sasha