Dear Mom, (A Letter to Explain Myself)
Remember when I was super clingy and whiny recently? Ignoring all of my toys?
You held me, you kissed me, you even tried to wear me for as long as I'd let you, but you still had no clue what was wrong with me. You let out many exasperated breaths as you tried to cook dinner and do housework.
Those little voices told you, "she just wants to be held, and I can't hold her all day." And then, then the next day you discovered a tooth was ready to pop through. Then you knew - you knew that that was why I wasn't myself.
Mama do you remember when last week I was once again clingy and whiny? When you just kept saying, "I don't know what's wrong, baby." And then you sat there on the sofa with me cuddling to realize that I was running a low fever. It was just a teething fever, so it was nothing to be alarmed about.
But then it all made sense to you and you instantly felt bad for not knowing. I got plenty more cuddles and hugs...and I even heard you whisper you were sorry.
Its okay mom, you didn't know and I know you had to cook dinner and fold clothes.
Do you remember Mama that day recently where I cried and cried all evening? Even the best episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse wouldn't suffice. The baby wearing didn't work and my toys were once again ridiculous little things just sitting there.
Really mom, who plays with toys when they don't feel good? Sure I wasn't really sick mom,
but I just needed your comfort. You were pretty dang busy all day (I don't know how you do it all) and I just wanted YOU. And I had a little gas.
Yep that's right, I remember it now. I had gas too.
And how about last night Mama, where even daddy kept asking, "What do you think is wrong with her?" Once again you didn't know, and once again you barely had the freedom to walk from the sofa to the toilet without me going bezerk over the simple fact that you left the room.
How dare you leave the room when I don't feel good (going pee alone is overrated anyway)! You answered my cries as best as you could and put me to bed with a big kiss.
It wasn't until I woke up at midnight with a high fever (this one not from teething) that you realized that I was sick. That's what I was trying to tell you Mama.
You see Mama; I'm little and still can't really express myself. I cry for my needs and I have bad days just like you. Chances are Mama, that when I'm not myself and when I'm clingier than white on rice, that I don't feel good.
Remember this even when I can talk.
I'm not always trying to manipulate you to hold me. I never do that to ya (wink wink). But no, for reals mom, I actually need you when I'm like that. Sometimes it's because I simply don't feel good and other times it's because my gums are on fire. Like really, how many times do I have to endure this teething insanity?
And sometimes Mom, sometimes I just want your attention. Sometimes I just want your comfort, your warmth and your touch. It's not because you didn't give me enough comfort, it's just that I am demanding more. One day mama I will be able to tell you exactly what hurts and exactly what is wrong.
But there will still be days that I simply just want you...(without exasperated breaths and whining on your part please and thank you; chores can wait).
Even though Mama this thing called "motherhood," doesn't seem to be easy, I think you're doing a great job. Sure sometimes you just don't "get me." But that's okay, you can't know it all, so don't feel guilty. I still think you're supermom and I forgive you for not always having the answers. You take the best care of me, with extra doses of hugs and kisses. And you love me unconditionally no matter how much I whine and cling to ya. Sure you try to get me to eat my dinner, when in actuality I just want to throw it at you, but I know you're just doing what's right. You're just always trying to do what is right.
P.S. You know I hate corn anyway.
Just listen to me Mama.
That's all I am asking for.
I love you Mama.
Based on real events. Real days and real mama guilt when I discover that all of the whining and clinginess actually has a source.
Listen to your child, for they are always trying to tell you something.