Why I Don't Do Cry It Out {The non judgmental post}

Today I am writing about one of those tricky, mommy topics. The whole concept of CRY.IT.OUT.

I say it is tricky because in my breastfeeding support group via Facebook, cry it out discussions usually start drama. Disclaimer: I ain't about to try and start no drama mama. I'm just simply writing my opinion - that's it.

So what's my take on CIO? Well to be honest I don't look at it as bad or good. I don't judge another mom that does CIO and I don't think that a child who cries it out for a little while will be emotionally scarred later in life.  

A child isn't going to remember if mommy made them CIO and some professionals even use the tactic in their training methods such as sleep training. I'm not going to say that I'll never do it, but quite honestly I don't believe I will. I'm fine with whining it out and if she's whining or fussing while I'm doing something, I don't just drop what I am doing to get to her. I finish my task at hand then go to see what the problem is. 

But crying - like sad tears and screams - just isn't for us. 

I believe that these little people in this great big world just simply need us and crying is their way of communicating that. They need us to feel secure, to feel better and to feel comforted. They don't understand this world yet and they depend on us to navigate through it safely. I've seen how on some days I can place my daughter in her jumper and she'll play for a long time just as happy as can be, but then there are days where after a mere five minutes she is crying in it. Now obviously she isn't just crying because she is "spoiled" because if she can play in it one day, then she can play in it any day. On those days where she cries and doesn't want to play with her usual things, I don't resort that too "oh just sit there and cry it out" or "you're just spoiled rotten;" I know that it means something isn't right. 

Perhaps one morning I didn't hold her as much and give her my undivided attention as much as usual; or perhaps I'm doing so much housework while she is in that jumper that she wonders why I keep leaving the room. They're too little to understand that mommy will be right back. They need that security to know that we're here. They can't say "yo mama, where you at?"

I brought this little soul into the world and I want nothing more than to make her feel comforted. I believe in what many experts say - babies whose cries are answered grow up feeling more secure and confident. It's my goal and my job to protect her and introduce her to this great big world. It's my job to teach her that yes she can be a big girl and learn to one day navigate this world without mommy, but that's awhile for us. For now I'll be here to console her, answer her cries and help soothe her. I know she'll cry sometimes and I especially know that the little booger will fuss, but I'm here to provide that security she needs. I just can't leave her. 

I remember reading one time that babies who do cry it out only quit crying because they lose hope that anyone is going to come. I don't quite buy that because babies aren't crying because they "hope" mommy will come. They don't know what hope is yet. They are just simply crying because it is there only way of communicating that something is wrong or that they don't feel secure. I just think they eventually stop crying because they exhaust themselves or hey, maybe they do learn to self soothe and that's a good thing for those that choose to do CIO.

I remember hearing my MIL say a few times that there is nothing wrong with a baby sitting there crying for awhile. Like I said before, I don't really think there is either. Crying helps them learn to communicate their needs and helps you as a mother detect what each individual cry means. Yet I still won't just leave her there to CIO. Give her a few minutes and then mommy is coming baby!

I'm no expert. I'm no child whiz. I'm not judgmental as I know many people who do CIO may think I'm judging them (I promise I'm not). Funny thing is people who read this may judge me for being over protective or "spoiling" my child. You may even think I'm crazy. 

So no I am no expert; I'm just a crazy mom. But I'm her mommy and I'm going to do what's best for her and us and for right now that means that mommy is going to be right there.

Did cry it out work for you?
I know it often works in sleep training...

Happy {nice} commenting, Sasha