Oh I bet that title grabbed you in really good. You either clicked here in total desperation out of sheer exhaustion or you clicked here because you felt like there's just no way there's some magical secret to motherhood.
Either way, no matter why you hopped on over, I will share a secret with you and I'm glad you're here.
While this may not be the secret to motherhood, because let's get real here, such a thing doesn't really exist...it's still a good reminder. As I laid in bed last night and thought about life as a mother, a word that I have heard and used many times in regards to motherhood came to me.
The secret to motherhood is grace.
We live daily in the role as mother overcoming so much thrown our way (literally). Perhaps one of the biggest struggles we face as a mother is mom guilt. Mom guilt is huge no matter who you are. Even the most put together, Instagram worthy mama suffers from some sort of mom guilt.
We stress and feel ashamed over some of the tiniest things sometimes. Our child doesn't have organic cookies like the other kid, we didn't read a book to the baby today, we're still in our pajamas, the laundry still isn't folded, baby books still need to be filled out, we splurged on take out for the third time this week and we still wonder most days if we're doing the right thing whether we work away from home, stay home or work at home.
Then there's even more to contemplate over when our head hits the pillow at night. Did we show them enough love? Did we yell too much? Why did we let them get on our ever lasting nerve so quickly? Are they going to the right school? Did you do something to make your baby a bad sleeper? Why won't your kids sleep like everyone else's? What if they don't forgive you for being a butt hole today? Does your husband think you're a good mother? Does Jesus think you're a good mother? Or is he like, "girl you need to chill?"
Our mind can become foggy as we navigate the ropes of it all, especially when we're exhausted. Sometimes we feel like we're sinking and other times we feel like we're on top of the world. Sometimes we feel proud and other times we compare ourselves and have our joy taken away right from under us because "she's doing it better."
You see motherhood is a process, a journey, a task, a role, a job and so much more. It's a blessing beyond measure and with each blessing in life you'll find grace. Where you find that grace depends on you. When you find that grace depends on you as well. We can only ever do so much and worry so much as mothers. We can only fit so much into the mere 24 hours a day that we are given and we can only squeeze so much into the eighteen years we're blessed with. And our mess-ups can never top the triumphs. Period.
So when your day is hard, when the tears start to sting, when the yelling is too loud and when your chest feels tight because you just don't know which way to turn...find your grace. Find your grace from within, find your grace from Him and give yourself the grace you deserve. And if faith isn't your thing, find yourself a pause. Take a second to realize that you're going to be okay and so will they. They may be eating take out and they may be going to bed too late tonight in dirty pajamas, but it's okay. They're going to bed fed and warm (maybe kinda smelly though), but totally loved.
God isn't going to give you something you can't handle, he's just going to give you enough to make you need him. Stop, find your grace and GIVE YOURSELF GRACE. You deserve it, you deserve joy, and you deserve a pause with a little hope. Just when you think you can't go on, just when you think you're doing it all wrong and just when you think you've let everyone down, grace can slide right on in there. Sometimes it's in the form of a laugh, sometimes it's a hug or a crumpled up flower from today's school uniform that was picked just for you. You see there's grace all around, even when we're too distracted to notice it.
You WILL make it through this and you'll one day realize just how beautifully and gracefully you did it.