Hell yes I was.
|Unaware photos were taken.|
|Piece of cake.|
|Words can't describe how amazing him and my mom were. I could have NEVER done it without them.|
|So happy my mom captured these photos for me.|
Had I known more about Pitocin I may have refused it. Then again, on Monday when I saw the doctor's face regarding my ultrasound all I was worried about was safely delivering my baby. So I guess you can say that the little bit of fear from Monday made me more open to the Pitocin to speed it up - I'm just grateful it was put off for so long.
Well, let me just say that you know.
I was enjoying what would be my last bath (about 35 mins after Pitocin) when as I stood up to dry off, I ran naked and dripping wet to the bed yelling I had to push. It literally felt like something was about to fall out of me. It's an uncontrollable pressure where you just want the sensation inside of you to make its way out. I got on that bed, was checked by the nurses and was told I was complete and it was time for practice pushes. After one practice push I started pushing for real and couldn't stop and didn't want to stop. The nurse actually had to hold the baby's head in while we waited for the doctor; which felt like an eternity. The emotions to know that I'm about to meet my baby and I'm about to follow through with my birth plan was overwhelming. I didn't want to wait for the doctor. I just wanted to push and push. Finally the doctor came, and through that burning ring of fire, I delivered a beautiful baby girl. Amazing.
|Pushing. I love this picture because I remember doing this to his jacket the whole time.|
I was amazed by her and amazed by my own capabilities. I was overwhelmed with emotions to finally meet this child that had been growing inside of me. This little girl who was always trying to kick her way out and always hiccuping in my belly. Words can't describe the moment I first saw her, first held her, first fed her or first kissed her. It didn't matter what she was covered in and how dirty she was...I couldn't wait to kiss her. She was all ours and was perfect and she was healthy. She's beautiful in every way possible and literally takes my breath away.
Having a natural labor was the most beautiful thing I've ever experienced. Now looking back my description of it all -- "it's a piece of cake." It's a pain you'll never forget, but it's a pain that goes away. I've never felt more empowered or more of a woman than I do now. I feel like I can conquer anything and that I can and will be able to give my daughter the best of me. I can be strong for her and I can share a bond with her that no one can ever take from me. The whole experience was beautiful and I'll never forget it and desperately hope I can experience it for each of my children. My husband was so amazing throughout it all and I loved sharing every second of the labor with him and my mom. It made it all the more special and I'm so proud of the way he took care of me.
|A moment I'll never forget. My heart is full with love for these two. It's almost overwhelming.|
She's that little piece of me and that little piece of the amazing man I created her with and she's all ours. I'd do it all again and like I said earlier--natural labor--"it's a piece of cake."
|Our family. My hearts, my loves and my life.|