As I laid in my three year old's bed, and stared at her freaking gorgeous face and long eye lashes, I wondered just how could someone love so deeply and fully NO.MATTER.WHAT.
How could this little person, who I sometimes lose my patience with, who I on occasion may be short with, or exhausted with, love me so deeply no matter what? How can she just forgive so easily and forget the moments that mommy raised her voice or told her "no."
Motherhood is no joke dude. It's real life, hard knock you on your knees at moments stuff. I can sit here and paint a picture for you that I am the perfect mother with a gentle voice and the perfect little exercises to calm down my three year old who is legit throwing a tantrum because I cut her Pb&J in half, but no. I am not going to do that.
Screw being any idea of perfect. Forget being Mom of the Year on Pinterest or Instagram and who cares about what I am "supposed" to do. Let's just get real here...all of us mothers on occasion will yell at moments, raise our voices at moments, let out sighs of exasperation at moments and get short with our adorable (yet hell on wheels sometimes) toddlers at moments. It's inevitable. We all have done it at least once...I don't really care who you are. Even if you stuffed your head into the pillows to yell a little rather than at your child, that's still something. AND IT'S OKAY.
*Disclaimer, I'm all for as gentle parenting as possible and less yelling as possible. But stuff happens sometimes...it's a learning process..
And yet, when we do these things on occasion, we are forgiven. Tears may stream (from both of us) for several minutes and the PB&J muncher may run to their room because they are frustrated, heart broken and upset; but then a miracle happens.
They emerge from their little room with a smile on their face talking about their baby doll. Or telling us they want to go outside. Or heck, even to come give us a hug. It's like the tears and tantrum never, ever happened and all of a sudden you're no longer the bad guy.
And it hits you that your mistakes, your short comings or even just your version of parenting, has been forgotten and forgiven. You're still their number one. You're still their best friend and you're still their security blanket from all that is dark and scary. You are still the person they need the most to thrive, succeed and grow. You're PERFECT in their eyes and you begin to realize that.
Children need parenting, they need boundaries and they need to hear no. But they don't always need to hear our bad days coming off as shitty attitudes, or our habit of running late as a reason to be short with them. I know I can say for myself, that sometimes having too much going on causes me to be on wits end. And I can also say for my toddler that not enough good food and good sleep causes her to be out of her mother-freaking box.
But what I want to say most all, is that they love us know matter what and it's the greatest gift we will ever receive. Somehow we are perfect to them and to experience a love that forgives so easily is beyond my ability to understand. So as long as you're trying your best and learning how to maneuver as gently through this parenting-a-toddler-thing as possible, then I'd say you're doing alright mama.
So cheers to days with less yelling, more patience, less tantrums and the deepest love you will ever experience. Because it is pretty freaking good!