This is a light and humorous post to help those mamas who I frequently read about who are torn on what to do about becoming a SAHM. Not every mama wants to SAH and that's okay. All moms are supermoms no matter what they do! Obviously not all mamas can do it, but if your heart is telling you to try it, then indeed give it a shot. XO.
Marry a sugar daddy.
Heck yea, right? No not really. I mean money is nice and all but let's not marry for money, okay?
Sure you hope for a man with a decent job but in actuality you really just want a man full of sweet sugar and support. Discuss your children's future and see if he is on board with the idea of just one income. If he doesn't seem too on board, sugar coat it with the fact that he'll get home cooked meals that include leftovers for lunch, a clean toilet to shit in, a free daycare bill and a wife who he can come home to everyday who'll look ravishing that he can have his way with.
Let's just hope he considers baby spit up on your top and three day old hair ravishing. And if he thinks he's getting laid after the day you had, HA, think again buddy boy.
Get in the mindset.
So not to ruffle any feathers but the whole "me working is better for our children" is kinda a catch 22 in my opinion.
Yes, it's awesome for them to grow up knowing mommy made her way in the world as a working woman. Yes, it is awesome for them to have that extra money to set aside for college, activities and Disney. And yes, it can teach them great things.
Believe me I totally admire working mothers for the dedication they have to all the hats they wear, but isn't staying at home also better for you children? In the end it really matters on what you want your children to remember and learn from you that will decide if it is better for your children. Coloring in coloring books, baking cookies and snuggling for nap time may not sound like a woman who deserves a Nobel Peace Prize, but in your child's eyes you will.
Budget yo crap.
I swear the first 101 times my husband mentioned that we needed to start budgeting, I wanted to punch him straight in the right eye. That first dreaded day that we sat down to budget and start our "cash envelope system" and I would have rather watched paint dry on a hot day in Ethiopia. Well as it turns out, I actually like that budgeting crap now and love getting my little envelopes filled with our cash to spend on the various categories we see fit (ex, groceries, date night, spending cash, presents, etc...). So damn you Dave Ramsey and all your financial guru shit because I'm totally in love with it now.
Well played Dave, well played.
Beg for money.
In that budget that you'll thank me for later, you'll have an envelope with your weekly spending cash. If your husband doesn't want to give you one, threaten to withhold all sexual activity until he does. And if that doesn't work, tell him your kid will walk around naked 24/7 due to your lack of money to buy him clothes. Seriously though, this envelope will keep you from spending too much pointless money. You know, like the pointless money you spend at Starbucks, at the bow boutique for your daughter and on the weekly mama play date trip to iHop. That's what this money is for; so whether it is $40-$80 a week, it'll keep you in line. And cheers to when you have money leftover for the next week (hello VENTI at Starbucks).
Fancy, Schmancy...Less is More.
Okay so maybe now as a successful working mama you can go drop a pretty penny at the local boutique without worrying about what your husband will say. I mean heck, you're a working woman with her own money! Well as a SAHM you really don't have that luxury (especially because now you're budgeting and it's totally not on the budget). Sure you may miss those days, but truth be told, you don't need fancy clothes and shoes to SAH. Less is more in life anyway and fancy things don't beat the memories and moments you get to share with your children.
Babies don't keep, but wait, jobs don't always either.
So yes this is catch 22 as well. Your job will, um like for sure, not be waiting for you five years down the road after you send your kid off to kindergarten (when they become their cute little teacher's leach) - BUT - your baby doesn't keep either. It's definitely a hard decision to put a high paying, good position job on hold or to step away from it. Same goes for a person with a college degree (me, me, me), it's hard and you'll feel guilt ridden for not really using that degree that mama and daddy paid for (yea, sorry about that again mom) but babies don't keep. Jobs will be around in the future and although it may not be the same one you have now, it may be an even more awesome job or a new door with new adventures. Not to mention that there are numerous little things you can do for extra cash while being a SAHM. No, I'm not suggesting standing on corners or anything crazy.
Know That It's the best job you'll ever have.
Sure some days you'll forget to brush your teeth and some days you'll run to the bank twice just to have an excuse to do something, but I promise you that it really is the best job ever. There's so many memories and moments to be shared. Like today when my child said poo poo for the first time or two days ago when she learned how to blow on her arm and make fart sounds that she thought was hilarious (this was not taught, it was coincidental and freaking hilarious); those are the moments I live for. Or today when she chimed in for the first time singing the song that I have always sang to her since birth or when we had a Bruno Mars dance party earlier...it's those moments that make this job the best. I get rewarded in kisses all day, hugs for no reason and I get to color in my pajamas.
Beat that corporate world.
What worked for you to make the switch to a one income family?