Dear You: A Note to Your Pre-Mom Self
Well hi there gorgeous. I say gorgeous not out of vanity, but because you're fully rested and out of your pajamas. In my book, that makes you pretty darn gorgeous.
I bet you're wondering what I'm doing writing to you right now. You're out and about living your carefree life, enjoying it up. You're probably shopping for yourself or hanging out with your girlfriends enjoying some wine and dessert. Heck, you may even be peeing in peace right now. Boy am I so jealous that you get to pee in peace. Seriously, lock yourself in the bathroom and cherish these moments.
I'm writing to tell you that you need to be ready. You know what I'm talking about - you want to have a baby soon, right? That's what I thought. So I'm just writing to tell you all about what to expect. I'm writing to tell you all about what you'll miss, how little sleep you'll get and how much your life is about to change.
I know, I know...I'm totally making motherhood sound like unicorns and rainbows (I hope you can sense my sarcasm).
Okay so here is the real deal. Yes your life is going to change; we're talking full on 360. I hope you're enjoying all of those full nights of sleep and mornings of sleeping late, because all of that crap magically vanishes. We're talking like one year plus of you not having a full night of sleep. And peeing alone? Forget about it. You're either going to have a toddler staring at you while they destroy the new roll of toilet paper or you're going to have someone banging on the door screaming your name. And not something sweet like "mommy," but more like "mmmmaaaaaa."
Your neat, little house is going to become cluttered with baby devices, toys and books galore. Eventually you'll just accept it. You're ALWAYS going to be in the kitchen; and not so you can eat in peace. It's so you can fix the 100 meals, snacks and drinks that your child will need in a day. You're going to stay in your pajamas more than you know. And when you're sick, well when you're sick it's not just about laying in bed all day. Even when you're sick, you still have to take care of another human being (who is more than likely sick too). And let's hope you love the word "no" because as your little one starts discovering the world, you'll say that word more than what should be allowed. Eating out in public becomes a game of 50/50. There's a 50% chance it goes great and there's a 50% chance that you dash from the restaurant as quickly as possible. Same goes for grocery shopping. P.S. That is what baby puffs are for.
And you're going to have so many (so many) moments of not knowing what is wrong or what to do. You'll have moments of defeat, moments of snapping for no real reason and moments of guilt for snapping. Heck, you'll even have guilt for letting your child watch Mickey Mouse. Guilt for not having the best lunch prepared and guilt for leaving them to go somewhere (even when five minutes before you left they were going ape shit crazy). You'll often be a ball full of emotions.
So you see it isn't all unicorns and rainbows. Motherhood is the most amazing job no doubt, but it is the hardest. It's the hardest because of the obvious reasons that I've listed above (plus 1,000 more reasons). Yet, somehow magically through all of the tears (and we're not just talking about baby tears), tantrums, whining, clinging and lack of sleep, you'll realize just how amazing it is. While you may think you know what love is now, you really don't know it until you become a mother. It's a whole new, deeper love than you could have ever imagined. It's actually quite mind blowing and very scary.
You'll find joy in the little things. You'll find joy in reliving moments and you'll see the world all over again because you'll be seeing it through your child's eyes. You'll grow and protect this little being inside of you and outside of you. You'll literally see your heart walking around (jumping from sofa to sofa and falling off of chairs).
Literally. You'll also likely change, but in a good sense. You'll be more protective, you'll be wiser and maybe you'll even live healthier.
The truth is that your life doesn't really begin until you become a mother. That's when you discover who you are. Life will have a totally different meaning when you become a mother. It will be the most rewarding and exhausting life all at once. You'll love completely and fully and you'll be loved the same way in return. Life will be beautiful. And while you'll likely have some bags under your eyes, you'll still be gorgeous. You'll be gorgeous because you're that baby's Mama.
Enjoy your life before you're Mama.
But just know that the best is yet to come.
An exhausted, but over the moon happy Mommy