"I can't believe that girl got engaged before me."
"I am so ready for it to be MY wedding day."
"If one more person announces they're pregant while I'm over here
pissing on 15 tests, then I may just scream."
As females I think most of us are guilty of this at one point or another. My husband calls this "never being satisfied." Personally I don't think it is about never being satisfied in life, but rather the need to experience all of the exciting crap that life has to offer.
When you're dating your guy for umpteen years you dream of the day that you'll get engaged and it just so happens that everyone else and their mother happens to be getting engaged around you. You scroll through your news feed and may even slightly cringe over the fact that a "friend" of yours happened to have many of the same ideas as you. "I can't believe that she chose
ake. That was so going to be
cake." Your big day finally comes and goes and years later when you're browsing on Pinterest (which didn't exist during your wedding planning era) you see things that you wish you had thought of.
Damn you cute chalkboard signs.
Then comes the baby talk;
oh good Lord for all of the baby talk.
Whether you're trying to get pregnant from the minute you say "I do" or whether you're waiting a few years, chances are babies are mentioned and thought of. People ask you when you plan on having children and you sit back and wonder all of the what ifs that life can throw to you.
"What if I can't get pregnant?" "What if we wait too long?"
Trying to have a baby is one of those things in life that really gets to you. Right when you're trying to get pregnant it seems like everyone and their grandma is announcing their pregnant too
(okay, so maybe not grandma).
You long for the day that it'll be your turn and you get pissed off with every negative piss test that you eventually chunk them out of the window without a care in the world for who will find them.
Here Benji, here's a new chew toy.
You get your positive.
Happiest day of your freaking life.
Of course, now you have to wait nine months for the little sucker to get here. Within that nine months everyone else is delivering their bundle of joy and you're so close that you can almost feel the burn of birth that everyone talks about.
Finally that baby comes and it is
best day of your life.
Eventually you long to expand your family even more and you
stress about negative pregnancy tests and you
announcing their second baby. You begin to wonder more what ifs -
"what if I can't have another"
"what if it takes like five years to have a second?"
Then you realize just how many women can't even have just one, and you know that you're already blessed beyond measure.
If only they could get just their one...
And then you feel guilty for even worrying about number two when you're so blessed and happy with number one.
Does any of this sound familiar, this constant need for reaching the "next step" in life or for wanting more? We women have a mindset of what we want in life - a handsome prince charming, three kids and a house with a white picket fence. However we fill our homes with numerous things that we must have and then eventually we have too much.
However did all of this crap end up in here? Oh yea, I bought it all.
Most of us are completely satisfied with life.
I for one am.
I am blessed beyond measure and while I am desperately ready for a new home (yea, cut me some slack we've rented for the last four years) I am also grateful for a roof over my head.
That's just us women.
We're programmed to be overly excited and anxious people. Sure some of us greedy ones never are satisfied but for the most part, we all are. The truth of the matter is that life is so grand that we want to continue living it to the fullest. We love our child so much that adding more just makes sense. We love cupcakes so much that we may even get mad when the kids eat them all. Mom wants more too, ya know? We inspire each other with the creativity and Pinterset finds we come up with and we are genuinely happy for those that are happy too (even when they "steal" your ideas). It's not about being dissatisfied with what life has given us; it's just about anxiously awaiting the joy that we know is still around the corner. We love to plan, we love to decorate, we love to craft, we love to announce things, we love to love and we love to mother.
However, let's remember to stop and enjoy what we have. God has his plans all worked up for us and while we may not like the pace of his plans, he knows what he is doing. So while we may be overly anxious to reach the next major milestone in life, let's just remember to stop and enjoy the journey. Our journey is only as grand as we make it. And while yes, there are many joyful moments still lurking around the corner, there is also joy in our present day that we must live and love completely and fully.
Thanks so much for reading and sharing, Sasha