10 Funny Truths to Life as a Nursing Mom

  1. Never in a million years did you think you wouldn't care about so many nurses seeing your tatas and even handling them a little while helping with latching (gloves on of course).
  2. Never in your life did you think your tatas would be hanging out so much. What's the point of shirts anymore?
  3. Lanolin is your "breast" friend in the beginning but by six weeks your nips are made of steel. Who has time for Lanolin anymore?
  4. You thought you were a cow when you had an additional thirty pounds during pregnancy -- but now that you're constantly either milking yourself with a pump or feeding your baby, you definitely feel worthy of the "mooos."
  5. "Sexy" nursing bras are so overrated...just give me the non-wire, non-cup kind. 
  6. You've never cried over spilled milk before (even when you were little and got in trouble for always being the one to spill the milk at dinner) but now that you've got "liquid gold" you'll cry over half an ounce that spilled out of the pump. 
  7. Cluster feedings are practically all just one long feeding considering the fact that you never even put your tata back in your shirt. 
  8. You know you've conquered breastfeeding when you can nurse and scroll through your phone viewing Facebook. Or surfing the Internet. Or changing the TV channel. 
  9. If you thought your husband was in awe of your breasts before, just wait until he stares at them while you feed and pump. His astonishment never seems to fade. Nor does the milkbag jokes. 
  10. Speaking of husbands...you're scared for him to "fondle" them because you may spring a leak.
Nursing has been quite an experience and one that I'm so in love with. Breastfeeding my baby has been the best decision I could have ever made for us.  And it is only the beginning...hoping to make it a year!

What's your funny thoughts on BF?
Love, Sasha

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