To the Sleep Deprived Mother

Turning to my essential oils for support during an exhausting day after no sleep the night before. For more on that, read about essential oils on our blog! 

Turning to my essential oils for support during an exhausting day after no sleep the night before. For more on that, read about essential oils on our blog! 

I see you. I see you over there with deep, dark circles under your eyes. I see you with messy hair, a large but cold coffee in your hand and a look of desperation on your face. 

I see the sighs of exhaustion, the eyes that weigh a ton and the fluttering lashes that just wish they could stay together to rest for a bit. 

I hear the thoughts rambling through your mind. Wondering why doesn't your baby sleep better. Is it something you did? Is there something wrong? Maybe it's his ears or maybe it's another growth spurt? But how will you know, right? Why can't he just tell me what is wrong?! I hear you. 

I know the thoughts of comparison to others. So and so has a baby who sleeps all night but she formula feeds, so maybe it's just that breastfed babies wake more. Another friend has a breastfed baby who sleeps pretty decent though, so maybe your milk just isn't as filling as it should be. Your grandmother claims her babies slept all night from the age of six weeks, so clearly you're doing it all wrong, right? 

Stop it. 

Stop thinking that YOU did this. Stop the horrible game of comparison, stop the endless mind games of wondering where you went wrong. 

I have news for each and every mama out there who is struggling each and every night. There is NO textbook perfect baby. There is no perfect solution that can work for every baby. In fact, most doctors and research will prove to you that babies are not supposed to sleep through the night before one year old. 

That's right. You read it right. Babies are not supposed to sleep through the night. There's way too much going on in those brains, in their bellies and way too much comfort to be had that there's no way in heck they are supposed to sleep through the night. And for the ones that do, it's simply luck. 

Do I believe that certain things can make a baby sleep a little better? Do I believe though that you should do them if they go against your beliefs? Hell no. Do I believe it'll even work for every baby? Nope. 

Again, each and every baby is different. 

So my dear, tired mama. I know how you feel. I know how your heart yearns for sleep so much and I know how much you need some sleep just to function and feel like a normal, happy human being. I know that the days where you feel rested are some of your best days as a parent. And I know the feelings of short patience, grumpiness and even anger on the days where you are functioning on little to no sleep. 

Motherhood is the greatest gift ever imaginable but there's no doubt that it is THE MOST sleep depriving job. There's no amount of coffee to fix it, there's no amount of, "I'm sorry but it will get better" that will comfort you, and there's probably not one correct sleep book out there within the mounds of books that is just right for you. 

Just mother. Just mother like you know how, like you want to and how your heart guides you. Follow YOUR instincts and no one else's and just remember that you will sleep again one day. You'll then be able to use your parenting wisdom in the future as you support another tired mama by not telling her how awesome your babies slept and making her feel awful BUT by telling her she will get through this somehow. You don't know it now, but your lack of sleep will one day pour over into support for others facing the same sleepless nights. 

From one exhausted mama to another, I know we'll get through this.

See you on the other side of the sleep tunnel my friends. 

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Sasha Savoy

Sasha is the owner and founder of The Mushy Mommy, a natural mother and baby boutique and The Mushy Mommy Village. She is a SAHM who works hard at living as minimal and unprocessed as possible, but never claims perfection. Her mission is to inspire, encourage, enlighten and empower mothers all over to feel good about their choices, to make healthy choices and to enjoy motherhood and all of its beauty and chaos. 

Why Motherhood Made me a Little Frumpy

Stay at Home Mother

Okay, so here's my letter to the world. Here's my letter to all of the mamas out there who can relate and even to the ones that can't relate. Here's my letter to the future mamas, who while they are so stylish and cute, I thought I owed it to them to share why they may be a little "frumpy" later on. Here's my letter to my husband to say, "Hey, sorry I may be little frumpy." Here it is people and gosh, I hope this letter is shared because please God, tell me I am not the only frumpy one out here. 

What is "frumpy" anyway? I'm pretty sure I didn't make this one up. Oh wait...googling...and bada bing, bada boom. Turns out it is a word and I was using it spot on. #winning

"Frumpy by definition means a woman (or her clothes) dowdy or old fashioned." 

So yea, I'm not walking around in like, little house on the prairie dresses or moo moos even, but dowdy - yes - and I stick to basic clothes these days that are nothing super "fashionable" to brag about so yep. I think frumpy may fit. 

But why? 

I mean, I LOVE clothes actually. Give me all the boho, hippie vibes, casual tees and booties and I'm your girl. But let's get real here - I don't wear those things often. Even to the grocery store, it just doesn't happen. I'm not that girl. I'm not always that mom. Despite dreaming in my early twenties of looking like a dime (pahaha) with little kids, that crap just isn't reality people. I dress for comfort. 

I can't prance around in wedges all day, jeans make me claustrophobic and cute tops get either stretched out from nursing sessions or stained with baby food. My hair doesn't get washed nearly enough and makeup is like for special occasions - and I mean like really - special occasions, folks. Trips to the doctor's office and grocery store just are not special. Jesus is lucky I consider church special - the Lord doesn't need me all up in his house looking frumpy (just kidding people). 

But here's the deal. I'm tired folks. I get like two minutes and 33 seconds of sleep a night. My energy goes into making sure my children look good; that our home is clean and tidy, and that a wholesome meal is cooked (most nights). My clothes are on budget because there's other priorities that Dave Ramsey says I should roll with and you just don't argue with the Dave. 

Motherhood

Truth of the matter is that I am okay with this though. I don't think being a mother means that you have to be frumpy all or any of the time by any means; nor do I think that stay at home mamas are automatically frumpy either (but pjs all day people). But as a mother of three little ones who can barely wipe their own butts (wait, actually none of them can), I'm totally cool with living through some frumpy years right now. 

It's not about not wanting to try. It's not about being lazy and it's not about not wanting to look good. And it certainly isn't about getting lost in the role of motherhood that you forget who you are. However, sometimes motherhood can change and define you in new ways that make some things less of a priority. Or well, motherhood can just zap all the energy right out that truly make some things less of a priority. 

The main reason I don't get much sleep these days. 

The main reason I don't get much sleep these days. 

It can be a little intimidating at times and even maybe those awkward moments of being surrounded by younger cousins or friends who look like they stepped out of a local boutique, but I am the one who gets to come home and tend to all of these beautiful, little humans. I am my own kind beautiful that I am learning to accept these days. 

I am wearing the marks of motherhood. And I am wearing them proudly. And just like I know that one day I will sleep again, I know that one day I may be that girl who is confident and far from frumpy. But for now, I'll settle for full blown love and frumpy.  

So that's my declaration to the world y'all. Just one tired, but hard loving mommy wearing the heck out of some yoga pants. AND pajamas. 

 

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Sasha Savoy

Sasha is the owner and founder of The Mushy Mommy, a natural mother and baby boutique and The Mushy Mommy Village. She is a SAHM who works hard at living as minimal and unprocessed as possible, but never claims perfection. Her mission is to inspire, encourage, enlighten and empower mothers all over to feel good about their choices, to make healthy choices and to enjoy motherhood and all of its beauty and chaos. 

New Habits for the New Year

New Year. New You. Right? 

 I like to think that with the new year, you don't have to be full of resolutions and changes. Like, not having any is totally okay, right?! But I won't lie, I love the fresh start and I think that having some changes, goals or even just new approaches to things can really make for a great year. 

If you're not into weight loss resolutions and if you're not one of the thousands of people joining a gym this month, but you're still looking for that "something," below are some great ideas to help tackle a new year. It's a fresh start to make fresh changes, to experience self growth and to deepen your relationships with yourself, your loved ones and the Lord. 

So what are some great habits to develop? I love a good routine and just like many, I fall of out of them when I experience life changes or even just exhaustion from kids who don't sleep. Below are some of my favorite routines and habits that can easily make your year better!

  • Declutter. Decluttering is one of the most freeing acts to me. Declutter your cabinets, closets and knick knacks around the home. Eliminate the piles of junk because most people get anxiety from looking at these piles of clutter, so eliminate them for a better start. 
  • Organize. It goes hand and hand with decluttering. Organizing makes you feel ready for the new year. Find something like the laundry room, cabinets or under the sink supplies to organize; toss the old things that you don't need or that is expired. 
  • Read. Choose a list of books to read this year, but don't pressure yourself with too many. A big list will never get done because it will look impossible. Settle for 3-5 if you're a busy mom like me who knows that reading during motherhood is just dang hard. 
  • Create a wellness routine. Create an area for you that contains all of your supplements and vitamins. Don't take any of these things? Now is the best time to start! The new year is a great time to focus in on your health, so take charge and begin a routine that can make you feel more energetic, think more clearly and hopefully keep the germs away. Don't settle for those vitamins in the stores, go for natural, plant based supplements. Young Living and Nordic Naturals are both great places to begin. 
  • Meal Plan. Some people plan for the month, I like the idea of weekly. Try what works for you and see if it makes grocery shopping and cooking easier and less stressful. Utilize the fresh ingredients you have by cooking similar meals that contain them so that way nothing goes bad. For instance, if you're purchasing a head of lettuce and some tomatoes for salads, then plan to cook tacos too that week to utilize those ingredients as well. 
  • Simplify. Oh I can elaborate on this one, but basically look at your life and see how you can simplify it. Declutter your home. Eliminate things from your calendar that you don't "need" or truly want to do. Don't feel pressured to be at everything. Learn to say NO.
  • Toss the toxins. A New Year is a great time to eliminate toxins and unhealthy products from your life. Make a slow transition into using more plant based, toxin free personal care products and cleaning products. You can learn more about that here and join my private community for support and access to some of the best products and the ones that we use in our home!
  • Start a daily devotional. Find a good one and stick to it. Bible journaling is also another wonderful habit to begin!
  • Begin each day with oils. I know some of you may be skeptical, but it's my mission to take you from skeptic to believer. Oils can change your life! They can support your sleep, moods, hormones and more that can ease the stress and anxiety you may wake up to each day. I promise you as your friend, that if you're suffering from any of those issues, then you really need drop me a line. Let me hook a sista up!
  • Focus on the positive. I've read so often that people who complain less are generally happier. I won't lie, I can be a complainer. So how about joining me in hopes that we can just be happier and not complain about everything that just doesn't go our way. 
  • Create a space just for you. Maybe it's at your home desk, in your home office or perhaps it's a sitting area somewhere in your home filled with your books and things you admire. Make this a retreat for you to turn to for a few minutes of "me" time to gather your thoughts. Or perhaps you're a work at home mother like me - that space can be needed. Since not everyone may have that space indoors, think of an area outdoors that you can turn into a small retreat for you. 
  • LIVE THE LITTLE THINGS. Enjoy more of the simple moments. Make time for the things that bring you joy. Hot coco with the kids, smores by the fire, front porch rocking and so much more. Slow down and just live and enjoy the moments. 

I hope you find yourself having the best year yet. A year full of moments that leave lasting imprints and memories to last a lifetime. Take the year slowly, reach for whatever goals you have and just stop and live. Create habits that will help you do all of these things. Set realistic goals and find your grace when you fall. 

Happy New Year! 

P.S. Embrace the smores crumbs all over the floors. (see above photo ;))  #momlife