I Buy My Kids Clothes at Target and We Wear Hand Me Downs

I Buy My Kids Clothes at Target and We Wear Hand Me Downs

I thought I would always be that mom…

You know, the mom who had kids that ALWAYS looked super put together and stylish. Maybe not always in the fanciest of clothes (because #bills), but definitely in the cutest clothes from hip boutiques and with beautiful bows and perfect hair.

And then life happened.

And by life, I really just mean I had three kids within 5 years. Which translates to a whole lot of chaos if we’re being real here.

There are days where we leave our house and I’m thinking to myself, “Damn I hope we don’t run into anyone we know.” Or I’m already mentally preparing myself to tell whatever human I run into the truth - these heathens demanded on dressing themselves and today I didn’t care because it was one less battle to win.

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Sometimes I Suck as Mother

Photo by Gray Photography, Copyright to The Mushy Mommy

Photo by Gray Photography, Copyright to The Mushy Mommy

That’s right.

I occasionally suck as a mother. There, I said it. I’m not proud of it. I am not ashamed of it. I am just a mom, standing in a toy filled room (probably standing on a lego) and I’m telling you that on occasions I suck as a mother.

I’m pretty sure I thought I’d always be some calm and collected mother, knitting sweaters and baking apple pies. And while I bake a lot of cookies and Amazon Prime a lot of clothes, I am not always who I thought I’d be. For starters, I know nothing about knitting and I don’t even care for Apple Pie (chocolate please).

I’m pretty sure that I thought I’d yell a lot less, never discipline and never want to ram my head into a wall. But when you’re standing there face to face with the most stubborn three year old on this side of Mars, you kinda wanna ram your head straight into the wall.

I never quite imagined that I’d always be searching for my keys each morning, hanging onto a solid 10% battery life pretty frequently and pushing that E sign in my car. But the truth is, mom life is a little messy and a whole lotta crazy, so sometimes I just live life on the edge.

There are mornings where the rush to school drop off is like a manic episode of who is gonna wear what, why haven’t you put your shoes on yet and why do you eat breakfast as slow as a snail. Or a sloth. Or a turtle. Or I don’t know, but whatever the slowest creature is…that’s it. WHY?

Why is it that so much can go so wrong some days? Why is it that what I envision for myself, my family and my children can be displayed so differently? Was I setting the bar too high? Expecting too much today? I’m pretty sure pre-mom me didn’t envision dropping her kid off to school after a heated debate about a skirt uniform vs a dress uniform. Pre-mom me probably thought I’d be dishing out bagels and kale smoothies on the way out the door; instead some days I’m dishing out crazy mama. And let’s face it, that’s no way to start the day.

Life as a mother to littles, is messy and crazy. It’s surely nothing like what you probably envisioned about yourself prior to. You’ll learn a lot about yourself, your limits and boundaries and especially your grace and patience. You’ll learn that you need Jesus and you’ll also learn that you need strong Coffee and a Target nearby.

You’ll learn as a mother that you sometimes suck and that it’s okay because no one does this gig perfectly anyway. No one, no matter how gentle and patient they are can navigate the trenches of motherhood effortlessly and perfectly. It’s just not real.

It’s so easy to get caught up in our failures, our hard days and the moments where we know we failed. It’s so easy to beat ourselves up over the moments where we know we just plain ole’ sucked as a mother. It’s easy to think that someone somewhere else is doing a much better job than you. Instagram Susie probably doesn’t yell and blogger Nancy probably had kale for breakfast.

But the thing is, is that we all suck some days. We all have crappy mornings, off days and messy lives. We can’t all knit sweaters and many of us prefer to go with store bought pies most days. Motherhood isn’t about being perfect but about learning how to make beauty out of the imperfections. It’s about showing unconditional love through the darkness and finding grace in the trenches. It’s about forgiving and praying for forgiveness. It’s about realizing your weaknesses and flaws and working on fixing them so life goes smoother. It’s about organizing shish a little better and making things run smoothly for the little people depending on you. It’s a giant hat, but someone has to wear it.

It’s learning, loving and yes, occasionally sucking at your role as mom. But sshhhhh, let me tell you a secret…you’re the ONLY one who thinks you suck. In that moment, in that day and that messy, crazy life…you’re still “mommy.” And believe me, to those little ones mommy never sucks. She’s just occasionally a loud, kinda crazy and maybe slightly irrational but totally cool, incredibly beautiful and oh so loving mommy. We are everything to these little people, whether we suck or not.

Besides, I’d take all the sucky days over and over again just to be their mama. Wouldn’t you?? So go off and have a great day, or a sucky one. It really doesn’t matter I suppose because at the end of the day, we’re all just hanging on by a thread, tired as crap and loved more than we ever dreamed imaginable. It’s a totally beautiful, messy and sometimes sucky life. And it’s totally okay by me.

SometimesasaMother
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Sasha Savoy

Sasha is the owner and founder of The Mushy Mommy, a natural mother and baby boutique and The Mushy Mommy Village. She is a SAHM who works hard at living as minimal and unprocessed as possible, but never claims perfection. Her mission is to inspire, encourage, enlighten and empower mothers all over to feel good about their choices, to make healthy choices and to enjoy motherhood and all of its beauty and chaos. 

Why Mothers Can't Balance It All

Mamas, listen up.

I have something to share with you and it’s something we all need to hear. Like for reals.

Have you ever thought about the pressure to balance it all? Have you ever thought about how you’re trying to balance motherhood, work, housework, fitness, Jesus and like everything else under the son?

I am right there with you. I try to balance it all too and sometimes feel like I struggle with the balance. Sometimes I feel like when I get a little bit of balance, one thing slips by and I lose grip of it and then I feel like I’ve failed.

No one informed me prior to motherhood just how many hats that I’d wear. Whether you work or not isn’t even a part of it, because the hats of motherhood are enough for a full time job. Chauffeur. Chef. Launderer. Butt wiper. Counselor. Maid. Stylist. AND. SO. MUCH. MORE. That hats of motherhood are endless and often times, we feel like we fall short.

I can’t tell you how many times I have prayed to be able to balance things better. To be able to manage things and have more peace and patience and kindness. To do my absolute best for my children.

And then someone said something one day that was like one of those “AHHHAAAAA” moments. There should NEVER be balance when discussing things vs motherhood or even Jesus Christ. Never. Balance makes things equal. Balancing my workload with motherhood isn’t good, right? My children come first. Balancing laundry and my family isn’t correct. My family comes first!

You guys, balancing things makes them equal. Why would we want our children to be equal to our jobs, our gym time or our housework? I surely don’t want that. My children come first. Jesus comes first. My husband comes first. All of those other hats I wear and “jobs” I have can wait sometimes. I can tip the scales because as it turns out, my family weighs much more than all of those jobs.

We navigate motherhood by trying to just balance it all. We have older generations tell us to enjoy it more and let the laundry wait. I’m the first one to think they are crazy because STUFF HAS TO GET DONE. Am I right?!?! But if we are balancing it all too much, then we’re letting the precious moments slip by. We’re letting what is most important in life become equal to the things that can wait. We’re getting the scales steady but we’re missing the bigger picture.

So join me as we try to stop this habit of balancing it all. Let’s take back motherhood and make the most of it. Let’s uneven the scales and put motherhood (and Jesus) back where they go. Let’s stop the mindframe that working mothers have to balance it all; that boss babes have to balance children and computers all day; and that women have to balance all of the many, many hats they wear.

We are mothers. That’s where the good stuff lies. That’s where the tiny joys are found, the belly laughs come from and the sweetness of life lives. That’s where true happiness can be found. That side of the scale is where all of the things we can’t live without are. So I never plan to balance that unconditional love with the load of laundry sitting in the washer.

My family deserves me and all of me. And so does yours. The next time you feel completely overwhelmed, take a step back and adjust the scales. Lift up the side that matters and make them the focus. The other stuff can wait. Laundry can always be rewashed.

I pray I’ve never balanced my children equal or lesser than to the things that don’t really matter in life. But you know what? I’m human, so I probably have. I’ve failed and I’ll continue to fail again. I know I’ve put Jesus Christ uneven to things as well. I’m broken and that I know. But grace and mercy and His love, gives us the chance to get back up and try again. It gives us the chance to change the scales and make them right. It gives us a new day and a new try.

So here’s to tipping the scales to where they need to be. Here’s to throwing away the hat of balance and remembering what’s most important in life. And yes, here’s to likely rewashing a ton of clothes…









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Sasha Savoy

Sasha is the owner and founder of The Mushy Mommy, a natural mother and baby boutique and The Mushy Mommy Village. She is a SAHM who works hard at living as minimal and unprocessed as possible, but never claims perfection. Her mission is to inspire, encourage, enlighten and empower mothers all over to feel good about their choices, to make healthy choices and to enjoy motherhood and all of its beauty and chaos.